Take her through Hanapepe Town and bring her on the Swinging Bridge.
Take her to lunch at a local cafe where she gets to try real saimin and not the instant ramen she grew up with. Then watch as Wendy explains what's in the saimin. Flat Elspeth learned that the real thing does NOT taste the same as the instant.
View the Hanapepe Valley near the dead carcass of a feral pig that some jerk hunter left behind.
Take her to her job orientation.
Have her meet Hunny the dog and remeet Jess.
Go over the job responsibilities, including not to panic if you hear screams of terror next door. It's just the nursing home's demented patients.
Learn how to cope with living in frikkin paradise in a beautiful house.
To take care of a self-maintaining dog.
While walking in the tropics.
You can also take your Flat Elspeth to see the Menehune Fishpond. It's an ancient Hawaiian fishpond used for aquaculture. It was said to have been built overnight by a race of mythical beings known as the Menehune.
Pose by Wailua Falls, the scene from the opening of Fantasy Island. Boss, boss, the plane, the plane.
Be a spokesmodel for the GE Geospring Hybrid Water Heater. It heats water using a heat pump. Like a refrigerator in reverse. With Hawaii's warm air, it would save a bunch of money on electricity. However, the home buyer tax credit got extended, so if we finally do get the house, we have money for a solar heater.
Avoid local food by going to a deli sandwich place. Notice the product placement. Hawaiian Sun Guava Nectar.
So that's proof that Elspeth is alive and well. We are treating her kindly and feeding her. If you wish her to remain safe, send us $1 million dollars in small, unmarked bills.
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After three days, we finally found a contractor that will come out to the house and do a roof inspection. Sigh. This house thing has been keeping me up late at night. We're starting to cut things close to the 7/16 deadline.
nah
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